I'm back in business, baby!

I'm really back this time. I promise.

Lots to say about Liam, Beckett, birthing babies, Barack Obama & Hillary Clinton, teaching, autism awareness, cesarean awareness...stay tuned. I'll be back. (said in my best Terminator voice).

I can't believe I managed to make two pop culture references in like six sentences. In case you missed the first one, this title entry is courtesy of George Costanza...and if you don't know who George Costanza is, why are we friends and why are you reading my blog? :P

Back to the blogosphere...

Okay, so I'm back from hiatus.

I've been feeling sorry for myself & my boy...but things are what they are and I need to move ahead.

Today has been a good day for Liam. He's really into "Ring Around the Rosie."

He's going to a party at Coco's house on Sunday.

Putting it together...

I think Liam is starting to really put certain things together with his speech...some of the concepts are starting to gel in his head. He's starting to complete his sentences more often. Last week we were driving down the road and he saw an Applebee's sign. They have a big red apple on them. Liam saw it and said, "Its an apple, Papa!". I didn't see it at first and it took me a second to realize he was talking about the apple on the sign. "Yes, a big red apple." I replied. "A big read apple, Papa." He said. He hadn't done this around me before...which is to say he's never pointed at a random object and call it exactly what it is without being told what it was and prompted to say what it was. At night when I'm putting him down I lay him on the bed and if I go to do something before lying down with him he tells me, "Come sit on the bed, Papa." and he pats or smooths down my spot on the bed with is hand. There are, of course, other things that I can't think of right now but in short it does seem like he's starting to really "get" it.

I've been slacking...

Mostly because I haven't felt up to writing lately. Sigh.

It all started last Wednesday when I picked Liam up from OT (occupational therapy). Amy, his OT, invited me into a private room to talk. I got a sickening feeling in my stomach...usually the therapists come out into the waiting room and say "He did great" to the unsuspecting parent or two...so being pulled in privately seemed to be very suspcious. My intuition was right on.

Amy is concerned that Liam is showing some autistic like behaviors. First, he wouldn't answer her questions. He wouldn't choose between juices. Second, he just seemed to be in another world to her when they went outside...like he was blocking her out. I didn't really know what to say. I mean, on one hand she wasn't telling me anything that I didn't already know...but the tears stung my eyes. I kept blinking to make them go away while I was talking to her. I wanted to tell her that Liam won't answer questions if he doesn't care about the outcome. Do you want apple or grape juice? Silence from Liam means "I don't care." Now if you asked him, "Do you want to swing?" you would get "Okay!" which is Liam's affirmative. I worry about making these statements though because I don't want to seem as though I'm in denial. I'm so not in denial...and sometimes I wish I was, really. Things would be easier if I could convince myself that nothing was wrong with my child...but the evidence is so strong and pervasive that I can't cover it up. It screams out at me and demands my attention. I can't get away from it.

Liam does some strange things when he goes outside...he likes to just wander around sometimes. His movements are very...strange...for lack of a better term. It's like some sort of awkwardly graceful dance that he does. I can't even explain it and Amy couldn't either...but she didn't have to because I get it. I can't articulate it either, the movements that he makes. I don't know why he does it. I only know that he's always moved strangely...

So Amy's concerns fill my head and the worry cycle begins once more. The kind of worry that leaves you with a sick feeling and your soul filled with dread. It's only made worse by the echolalia. Liam constantly repeats lines from Blue's Clues. "Look! A clue!" A month or so ago it was Dragon Tales, "Great idea!" Now he is still making such huge strides in his expressive/receptive language...but this echolalia is like a huge, painful reminder to me of how far we still have to travel.

This afternoon he dropped his notebook between the seat and the car door and plainly said, "I can't reach it, Mama!" Tonight he was getting ready to take a shower and extended his hand & said, "Want to take a shower with me, Mama?" He built a bridge out of crayons and jumped over it! He's coloring and enjoying sitting down & working on a picture. Honestly, part of the reason that I don't blog mych lately is because he is saying so many new things that I just can't keep track of them all. It hurts though when his seemingly wonderful progress is undercut by all of this echolalia. I really hate it.

I read that echolalia can be a part of normal language development...and research shows that it peaks at 30 months. This article provided me with some hope for a short time that maybe, just maybe, he's a quirky kid & that's all. Maybe he will grow out of the echolalia and move on to the analytical side of language development. I mean he just really started talking recently...so maybe it will be a passing phase. I hope so because each day that it presents itself is more painful than I can describe, wondering if it's an indicator of his future or a passing phase...

Blue's Clues...

Liam has a new fixation in life. Blue's Clues.

We don't have cable, so if Liam wants to watch a kid's show he's limited to videos. One day he pulled out an old Blue's Clues video...and he's been hooked ever since. That's all he talks about. He is obsessed with finding paw prints everywhere...and truly, they're in more places than I would have realized. He sings the theme songs, complete with Blue's little babbling sounds. It's really hilarious. Last night we were at the grocery store and lo and behold, they have Blue's Clues yogurt (by Yoplait) so Liam of course had to have it. He had "Blue's Clues yogurt" for breakfast this morning.

Liam is also getting territorial with the baby. Beckett used to be a 100% mama's baby...but not anymore. He *loves* Brad. He wants Brad to hold him, puts his chubby little arms out and gazes admiringly at him. It's so sweet. This weekend we were hanging out on our bed and Beck was crawling on Brad...Liam pushed him away and said, "My Papa!" He is going through a mean phase so to speak--he takes toys away from him and sometimes pushes him over when he's sitting up or standing. BUT, he is getting what it means to go to time out. He doesn't like it.

Beckett is awake...more later, dear readers.

I made a picture!

Today Liam made two very significant statements.

This week he has been at Friends for his second session of summer camp. BTW, the school had a meeting last night to discuss expansion. The meeting invite was "Help us grow, K-1 planning meeting." Now the school already has kindergarten and first grade and it used to go through eighth grade. Anyhow I asked Kris, the director of the school, if I could come. The purpose of the meeting was to talk to families to see if a commitment might be there for expanding the school. I of course am all for it. I would love to see Liam stay at Friends for as long as possible...even if I have to sell my plasma to make it happen. :P The more I deal with JCPS over his services the more I realize that it probably won't be the place for him. Anyhow, moving on.

So he's been at Friends this week and the theme was Animals. Today he made a mask (a rabbit!) and wore it for Beckett (who tried to eat it). Tomorrow they are going on a field trip to a pet store. He came home from occupational therapy today and started drawing.

Liam: Look, mama, I made a picture.
Me: Oh, it's beautiful!
Liam: It's a rabbit.
Me: That is a beautiful rabbit. You're a great artist.

Not only did he come and share his work with me, but he NAMED his work. I'm sure this has rubbed off on him from school...he brings home a drawing every day. I just wanted to cry because he shared his work with me, he was so proud of himself...and in his little brain he was creating a rabbit, not just scribbling.

Later on he asked for a sucker.

Me, holding up two suckers: Pick one out.
Liam: This one. (grabs sucker)
Me: Please put your wrapper in the trash.
Liam, as he takes off the wrapper: Blue sucker, mama!

That is also a big deal for Liam...his speech has mainly progressed in this way--

single word utterances (labels mostly)
words to get something (more)
two word phrases to get something (more apple, help please)
spontaneous comments (Look at the sky mama! he said this to me yesterday)
spontaneous comments with descriptors (Blue sucker!)

I love to pick him up at school...he comes running to me with the most amazing look of joy and admiration on his face...sometimes I don't feel worthy of such a gift, this child.

Liam has further developed his use of duplicity...

From: Brad

Liam is now using the art of deception to get what he wants. If he sees me on the computer he will, invariably, come in and announce that I'm done with whatever I'm doing by proclaiming that its "my turn!" I usually don't mind and I'll let him have it but there are times I can't do that and I have to send him elsewhere for his jollies. Sometimes he can be very insistent but he'll eventually give up and go play with his toys. A few days ago he tried a new tactic.

He came into the computer room, gently took hold of my hand, and began pulling me while saying "This way. Want to go this way, Papa." This is what he does when he wants something...a sucker, a video, something to drink, etc. I assumed that he just wanted to play with me so I got up and allowed him to lead me into his room. As soon as I was in there and well away from the door he dropped my hand, ran around me, and dashed down the hallway to the computer room, yelling "MY TURN!"

I ran after him and barely beat him to the computer. I told him it was my turn and that he'd have to wait. He came back a minute later and tried the same thing again. He thought he could pull it off this time by attempting to lead me into a different room. But now, of course, I'm wise to his trickery. He hasn't tried that again but I just think he's planning his next deception, plotting his strategy, considering all possible countermeasures, and soon...very soon...he'll strike.